Well, I've thought about it, and...

... I've finally come up with a solution for my ugly-ass hair FAIL I've got going on right now.

Let me begin by setting up why I'm in this position. I've developed an allergy to certain types of permanent hair color, so I got the bright idea to impulsively bleach out all the black dye and try to make my hair white. Since my hair is so coarse and I haven't had too many disasters in the past, I went ahead and slapped about ten pounds of TIGI Colour Lights bleach (with the blue toner) on my head over about three weeks. I got my hair to the color of butter, but it started splitting off so I decided to cover it with Manic Panic, a great shade of green called "Enchanted Forest". I had it that color for about two weeks and began to panic because that may have been keeping me from getting a job, so I lifted a small section in front (with the pink-red toner, to get rid of the green) and dyed the rest black. Like Sweeney Todd's hair. But now I have the lovely problem of black dye leaking onto the white sections so they're more like bluish-gray.

And to top it all off, I've got a huge section of hair on the TOP OF MY HEAD that's just... split off. It's only an inch and a half long. I ordered a $40 wig off the internet just in case I can't deal with it, but I think I have a solution.

A few simple steps will get me back on the right track:

1. I will wait until I have about 3/4 of an inch of new growth. Probably another month.
2. I'll go have finally have someone else do my hair.
3. The back and sides will be cut VERY short, and the top will be left as it is, maybe trimmed a little.
4. The short parts will be bleached to platinum (i.e. white, not hard since I'm a natural dirty blonde)
5. The top will be touched up and those God-awful white sections will be covered.
6. I will grow my hair out and keep this color scheme.

There. My hair grows very quickly so this time next year my hair will be at least two inches past my shoulders, with trims and everything. It's gonna suck not being able to get my hair done for free- a friend of mine used to do my color and cuts on slow nights at the salon she worked at. I just had to provide the color.

So hopefully by the time this is set in motion, that short section will LAY the fuck DOWN because I'm tired of having to pin it down so it doesn't stick 90 degrees off my skull.